Monday, January 23, 2012

Things Pregnant Women Say

This is an approximation of the things a pregnant woman finds herself say on any given day.

- I have to pee.
- Can you help me put my boots on? I can't reach my feet.
- Is this decaf?
- It's a boy. June 15th.
- I have to pee.
- Shoot, did I remember to take my prenatals?
- Honey, what do you think about "Oliver"? What about "Gunnar"? Nevermind, didn't Jen and Rob name one of their twins "Gunnar"?
- Is this pasteurized?
- Hang on, I have to pee.
- I miss sushi. And wine. And my ankles. Mostly wine.
- Will you still love me if my nipples stay this dark?
- I wish I could poop.
- Can I have a hug? Don't touch me.
- Don't make me laugh, I'll pee.
- You know, all I really wanted was a back rub.

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