Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Dear Nanny, My Mom Is Nuts. Love, Baby

taking our beanbag home from the hospital. June 2010.

One of the hardest tasks for a mom is trying to explain your child's likes, dislikes, needs and wants to someone who is going to care for your child without sounding like a total crazy person.  As a mother, you are biologically attuned to every burp, yarn, whine and wail in an almost superhuman, inexplicable way, not unlike responding to a dog whistle that is set at a frequency only you can hear.  The upside to this sixth sense is that it makes us good mothers.  The downside is that when you try to explain your child's unique peculiarities and tastes to someone else, you sound nuts.

The other day, I was thinking about getting ready for another birth and decided to take a look at the folder I created back when the duckling was born.  I found, among the birth plan documents and hospital forms, a letter I forgot having written to our nanny in preparation for her first day of work.  I'm not sure if it was hormones or anxiety, but the letter was written by a crazy person.  Here are a few exerpts to illustrate what I'm talking about.  I omitted entire sections on eating, crying, clothes, feeding and emergencies as well as other bullet points from the sections below since the whole document was over three pages long.  Keep in mind the letter is about an 8-week old-baby which, for those of you who don't know much about babies this little, has the intellectual and physical capacities of a beanbag:

SLEEPING
Things that work to put the baby to sleep:
 - He almost always needs a binkie
 - Sometimes his hands freak him out when he's falling asleep.  Gently holding his arms or laying your hand across his arms so they don't flail helps him.  This also works great if he starts to rustle in his sleep
 - Holding him in a nursing position with a pacifier while gently bouncing him and patting his back
 - He also has a sleep sheep that plays ocean sounds.  That helps to calm him down too if he is in the stroller.

- We put socks on his hands when he sleeps

PLAYING
- He LOVES looking at himself in the mirror that hangs on his playmat. I will usually put him down on the mat after his feeding when he is happiest.  He is starting to grab at things more too, so I like to give him things to grab at.  He is not that good at this.
- He really likes the black and white book about kissing the baby duck. the other ones he could care less about, but I read them to him anyways.


Really?  He has a favorite book?  He doesn't even know he has thumbs, but maybe that's because you're forcing him to wear socks....on his hands.  Clearly this wasn't an easy time for any of us.

What crazy things did you do to make your baby happy? 

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